So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
