What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
