evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
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making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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