who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
