I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
