Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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