Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
