Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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