Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
