it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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