Dual....:-)
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
