I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
