Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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