I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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