pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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