mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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