i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
the raccoons are back...
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