I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
