She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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