Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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