I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I met the friendliest cop last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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