My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
