My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I am one with the molecules
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
