Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
