We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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