I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
