that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
