when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
