maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
