I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
