Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
