Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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