I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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