i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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