You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
