One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
