I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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