So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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