Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
