omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
