i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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