they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
