I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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