Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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