dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
