shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
