Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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