i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
