Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize