I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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