based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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