Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
