Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
