I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
