the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
