both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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