Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
