So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
